Bond, James Bond

I mentioned briefly last night about watching my first James Bond movie. Well, I enjoyed it so much I completely lost my mind and marathoned them. Over 8 hours, straight. Some people work for a living. Me, I stay up all night watching James Bond movies in my robe and drinking green tea and LAUGHING MY ASS OFF because Mr. Bond is so hilarious.

My favorite is Roger Moore, a perfect storm of gracious gentleman and complete slimeball.

I realize that there are moments in every James Bond movie that are meant to be funny, but I contend that they are total comedies, without even a second of seriousness. Surely, I can’t be the only one who sees them for what they are? I mean, Moonraker—come on. I practically pissed my pants and my belly is still tender. That laser fight in outer space. That dude Jaws. And—oh my god—the zero gravity scenes where everyone’s moving really really slow because when there’s no gravity you still walk around normally, just really really slow. Tears. I literally had tears.

James Bond movies are the greatest thing in the world. Gleefully cliche! Charmingly whack-a-doodle! Austin Powers is supposed to be a parody, but, seriously, that’s redundant, right? How can you parody a parody? We’re all lucky that the Austin Powers flicks were so stupid or they may have, like, torn a hole in the universe or something.

Anyway, good morning.

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