New Device To Help Students Stay Awake In Class

A new device, the Attentionator 2000, will be given a trial run in several American school districts this Fall. Made by Hong Ding Devices and Contraptions, the Attentionator 2000, when used properly, will “keep any student awake and receptive,” says Diane Mifkin, a psychologist with the California Department of Education.

The device will be tried in several small, rural California school districts to avoid unwanted scrutiny by the media, she said.

“It’s really rather elegant,” says Wendy Kercher, a teacher in Senza Lavora, California, one of the school districts where the device will be tested. “It simply holds the student’s head up and straight with a bag of water. A low dose of Ritalin fed directly into the vein keeps the eyes open and focused.”

If successful, the Attentionator 2000 will be adopted for use in all California school districts for the 2012-2013 school year. Other school districts in the U.S., especially in the south, have also expressed an interest in the device.

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney said he thinks the device has “marvelous potential for, um, education.”

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