In honor of Rinderpest, the scourge of cattle, being eradicated, I offer you this: a book I wrote, signed by me using a real, live pen. I will also include a card in which I will write something witty or amusing. Ten bucks, free shipping.
(Rinderpest, by the way, means “cattle plague” in German, and is only the second disease ever wiped from the ass of the Earth with the big wad of toilet paper known as medical science. Not as popular or “cool” as its big brother Smallpox, Rinderpest has nevertheless been a major bitch, causing widespread starvation and speeding the downfall of the Roman Empire.)
So celebrate by getting a really weird, funny, creepy, and sad book that has nothing to do with cattle, but plenty to do with sheep.
This has been a public service announcement from a drunk guy in South Dakota. Thank you.