Oklahoma to adopt official state gospel song

“Swing Low Sweet Chariot,” will likely become the official gospel song of the state of Oklahoma. The measure, which was already approved by the Senate, passed the House by a vote of 89-0 and now heads to Governor Mary Fallin, who said “Don’t these people have anything better to do?”

Oklahoma is not the only state wasting time dicking around while the country disintegrates before our very eyes. In Arizona, legislators are seeking to make the Colt revolver the official state gun. Governor Jan Brewer has not yet acted on the bill, which passed both chambers by a narrow margin.

“I’ll definitely sign it when it comes before me. Nothing says Arizona like a fucking gun.”

South Dakota, location of the Mt. Rushmore monument, recently adopted the 1998 Wes Anderson-directed movie Rushmore, starring Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman, as the official state movie, even though the film makes no mention of the monument, South Dakota, or even the Midwest.

Hu Jintao, President of the People’s Republic of China, expressed delight at the flurry of futility and posturing among the American states. “Hard to believe the U.S. is no longer the dominant world power,” he said and burst out laughing.

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