Man Who Opened Fire on Reality TV Crew Widely Applauded

Las Vegas Police today identified a 40-year-old man who they say opened fire on a reality TV crew in his neighborhood Monday after becoming angry that a van was parked in front of his house, blocking his driveway.

Authorities said the incident happened about 9:45 p.m. in the 2900 block of Vigilante Court, near Barren Wasteland Road and Suicidal Parkway.

Police said Carlos Barron began yelling at the van’s occupants from a second-story window and then went outside to demand they move the van, at which point he pulled a handgun from his waistband and fired multiple shots at the seven-person crew. Unfortunately, no one was injured.

The TV crew was filming an episode of “Repo Games,” a reality television show from Spike TV that allows debt serfs a chance to win back their repossessed cars by performing humiliating stunts, usually involving nudity, or by eating extremely unsavory things, like buckets of baby shit. The show is produced by SallyAnn Salsano, the sleaze-bag who brought us Jersey Shore.

Usually, gun violence is condemned, but not in this case. Speaking from his private island in the Pacific, the Reverend Jesse Jackson called the attack “a sign of hope.”

Ron Schmeits, president of the National Rifle Association, said he “couldn’t think of a better use for a handgun.”

Even the pope took time out from his busy schedule of telling people how to fuck to say that “evil must be confronted in whatever way possible.”

Barron is expected to be given the Key to the City by Las Vegas authorities later this week.

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