Two dipshits rob a little girl’s lemonade stand

Chelsea Edwards, 13-years old, was trying to raise money for her cousin Logan by selling scrumptious lemonade to a thirsty public.

Logan is 2-years old, developmentally disabled, and has a rare intestinal disorder. This coming week, he will be going to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital for treatment. Logan’s family, however, is not fully insured medically, and so has to raise a bunch of the money themselves by begging, pleading, and yes, selling lemonade. This is America, after all, richest nation on earth, where even the homeless have excellent cell phone service. It’s a nation, unfortunately for Logan, that doesn’t really give a flying fuck about poor sick people, even though it constantly says it does.

Sorry, but actions speak louder than words.

So little Chelsea, along with two of her friends, was trying to help out. She was having a good day, too, and had a whopping $130 in her pickle jar, enough to buy Logan a half of a syringe or maybe a single pill. Toward the end of the day, two dipshits approached the stand, and began asking questions about the price of lemonade, no doubt haggling and trying to talk the girls down from the ridiculously overpriced $1 a cup. Most Americans are cheap, and these two dipshits were probably no exception.

Suddenly, the male dipshit snatched Chelsea’s pickle jar full of money from between her legs and jumped in a 2010 Hyundai Accent, a car that costs over ten grand. He tore outta there, leaving the female dipshit behind. She was his girlfriend, and he can certainly look forward to a few nights on the couch for his insensitivity. Most men are assholes, and this dipshit is clearly no exception.

Even though she ran after the car, cussing and screaming, the female dipshit was arrested rather quickly by deputies who were patrolling the neighborhood since it was largely white.

“Why would he go up and rob three girls?” wondered Chelsea.

Poor little Chelsea. She has so much to learn.

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